I’m home. Now its 5:30pm. Should I change and go jogging, or should I prepare an instant noodle with canned pork and seaweed? If we look at the “easy” feeling, we would be going for the instant noodle. Right? Not that I disagree, nor I deny any truth in it. Coz we always think about what is the easy, comfortable things around us. Eating noodle is easy and mesmerizing. What can beat the smell of hot noodle after coming from a long day at office running through many reports and pep talks. What is better than to sit down and relax and enjoy music and let the world spin another round? Yeah, I could be browsing through Youtube various music channels in search for any spiritual awakening piece of music right now. As for jogging, we have to deal with sweat. Who wants that? Maybe not me.
However, crazy as it might sound, but I might would go for jogging. Not that I feel the need to start looking after my health, but I think that choosing to do it is to give myself an opportunity to live with uncomfortable feeling. I’m mentally tired, but not physically. Thing is, when our mind is tired, it likes to force our body to feel the same way. When we think we are uncomfortable, we always seek to find pleasure to erase this unpleasant feeling. Isn’t it so? That is why I need to learn to know that I do feel all these tiring and uncomfortable thing, but instead of working my ass off to make me think that I am doing something that is making me feel better, let’s just take a walk and enjoy the outdoor atmosphere. Let’s the tiredness be the tiredness but we do things that really matter to us. Let’s go jogging now. Coz it’s the harder way, and in life, we either learn thing the hard way, or the wrong way.
That is what I pick up from picking the choice too: that I should no longer, or want to, think that I am special. By any mean, I am not. However, I used to feel that since I’ve been working my ass of to support my family, workplace, projects… I should be given some spaces and times to enjoy the moment. This leads me to indulge in the luxury of life while forsaking what is important right in front of me. The need to feel special is indeed dangerous and could lead to delusion. That is why I chose to stop thinking about how to best spend my evening based on how I feel I should, but based on sticking to my rigorous routine of exercise and mind training. I am still fighting this, because it is by no mean any easy. However, what motivates me now is that I know this is the hard part, or the tough challenge that I need to go through. I want to prove that I can, not just withstand them, but overcome them. Let’s there be no more thinking of an easy life. We can strive to live a simple life, but not an easy life. Don’t ever think about choosing the easier way.