Its been a dramatic 5 months of reconciliation for my life since the start of 2011.
Rite now, I’m an employee, I am employed to work for money. For the first time of my life, I admitted that working does really suck up my energy for my studying. My Master Degree and Japanese Course are now facing challenges from “opportunity cost” of my work tasks. What do I have to do then? Drop one?
Maybe not, I will never quit something I started without getting any values out of it, I’m on the verge of acquiring multiple values in a short period of time. I’m fighting, I’m dealing with issues, both personal and social, internal and external, academic and professional. I’ve been telling myself to move on, to hold on to my dream, to carry on my willpower to conquer difficulties. It has never been an easy task.
I’ve been working on my personal development, capacity and connection building. But the more I am into it, the more mess I came up with. I don’t know exactly who am I, and the more I search for the answer, the more I wonder how do I even start these journeys? What was my purpose? What was my notions? What was my motivation?
Am I lost?
I wish I could dig into my heart and listen to it more carefully. Maybe I’ve been selfish and never care about my heart. It needs me more than I need it. Maybe!
Its the moment of truth now, deal or no deal, it must be within my grasp.